My child is special

I'm tired of every mother telling me how cute, smart and special their child is. I feel the same way about my dog. Every time a woman has a child they can not stop telling stories that I've heard 100 times from 100 different mothers. It almost seems as if they all read the same speech. If every child is special, that defeats the definition of the word. If you're like me you get countless pictures of children people send you. Now, I just put all the pictures in one photo album. By now I don't even know who's who. Every time someone looks at that album and asks me who's she? I say I don't know but she's special. Who's he? I don't know but he's special. I have rookie cards of all the future world leaders. None of them are gonna be drug dealers or strippers cause I buy my weed from his father and I met her mother at Hooters.